cause' you are eveywhere to me

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Wanted to blog last night but was too tired after my "JOG" which many dont believe i do..haha.. Yes! night jog..(:
20 Dec Today? No no no.. Yesterday, Kar Hua and i went out.. To celebrate my belated birthday and her early advance birthday. We've been great friends ever since and have been for 5 going 6 years. Our first stop was Plaza Singapura. Went there and had yoshinoya.. AGAIN!! we ate till we were super full.. it was mountained up to my neck.. Went for a walk. Thought it will sattle it down but it kind of did.. PS was boring. Going there many times, see same stuff gain and again.. Headed down to HEREEN.. walked down.. stomach..was much better.. (:but still full not bloated..walked around still nothing to see. Went to see the NEOS, nothing much fancy..Went to cini,nothing much either.. watch a movie? YES!! there was. The Family Stone. Kar Hua wanted to watch it. But #1, it was at 7+ will end around 9+ and we woke be able to have our promised dinner. #2, Tickets were all sold out. Guess that was fated for us.. (: so we headed for bugis, Went stright to take our NEOS.. Guess what.. we have been friends for 5 years +, and this was our very first Neo print together.. how happy i was.. and i movie i now owe, that will be our very first movie too.. (: Went to raffles hotel to my favourite restaurant and had our dinner.. The food was good but i was too full.. Over ordered.. Like mummy always say to me, "Your eyes are bigger then your stomach" haha.. mummys right.. i did over order and yes, lots of doggie backs but hey, at least i didnt waste.. (: oppz.. after we had our fill, i wanted to pay but the manager stopped me(he and mummy are great friends) He said wait aminute.. take a seat, not so fast. I got a suprise for you. i didnt know what was about to happen, but suddenly, he came with my fav cheese cake. he said, Happy birthday gals, enjoy, he looked at me and said, "Your fav". Omg.. i felt so guilty.. to me, when my fav cheese cake comes along, no matter how full i am, i will always make space for it.. walking up to him, i said, add the cake bill in, i'll pay for it.. he rejected it.. he replied, "Never mind, once in a while" I'm a bad bad girl. I got free cake and i didnt finish my fav meal.. how bad can i get..

Came home, was already 10pm, opened my presents Kar hua gave me.. OMG.. Thanks so much Kar Hua, a belt.. i needed one.. How did you know? a Billabong belt.. christmas, erm.. i have not open yet.. waiting till christmas to open all at once.. (: Meet Siwei for our jog, was not really a jog thou as we mostly walked.. so i guess, its still excerise thou.. I was a little down..had problems, Wei was not happy.. I'm angry now..not angry because she cried but for the thing that hurt her.. I hate seeing Wei cry!!hurts me to see her cry.. Our childhood game and promise, when one cries the other will cry along.. i did.. we cried together..I wont say why.. its between me and her..

Pain within me.. Thats my heading..
I'm in pain.. i dont know why.. ok.. i'll spill my beans.. i've been adicted to this site called winglin where people write all their short novels and stories etc.. When i came along, i came to know that one of the best writers which i've read so far past away after giving birth to a baby girl.. I dont know why, but i started have heart pain, twisting stomach and silent cries. I dont really know the person at all only know her name,that she is married happily.. but somehow, having this pain, made me feel as if i known her for a long long time. Reading the last comments people left for her, i cried. Then i knew how short ones life can be..I suddenly had all flash backs of deaths i been through.. First was Da Dio, He felt us as he had cancer..ii didnt cry..i laughed and played as if nothing happen..People were crying and crying..i just stood there and wonder..What happen..Second was Granduncle Puay Hee,i was at a young age. I didnt know anything about death. I laughed through the ceromoney watching my aunts, uncles and familys cry.. Why? i always wonder? Why cry? Followed was Wai Po.. I cried..i never said how sorry i was..i never told her how much i loved her..i could only do that on her death bed..I remember her saving me from all the beatings which mummy and daddy will always do when i'm naughty but wai po will always hug me and tell my parents, dont beat her..dont beat her.. i miss her soo much..i promised her that i will do well but my grades droped.. I didnt do well for my 2nd sem test..i dropped 0.3points.. thats bad.. really bad..then after was Kris.. I miss her too.. i still keep the earings she gave me.. the last card she gave me and the book she gave me for christmas.. Kris.. i miss you..so does my bro.. why must one go at such young age? i made promised to you but i never fullfilled it..Kris im mean am i? Im Unfaithfull..What shall i do? I relized after you left and after the girl whom i never knew, left, i relized how frgile a life can be.. When you are called, you leave fast, unexpactingly..Then was ah tai po po.. read my 3 october update.. is all there..but nevermind..will be troublesome.. here's what i wrote.. *monday,03 october* Jus arrived home from ah tai po po's wake. is 1340. Cant believe that once u say leave you'll depart. to have a family member or someone so close to u depart, is really a heart pain ting. mostly pple wil say, lyk animals, once they die, buy another one lah or once spoil buy another. But no! Life is not that. once u go, no one can replace hu u were. Ah tai po po was one of a kind u may say. She was mor lyk jesus. she helps others wen their in need. Thou she's old, she lived a happy life. I stil remember those days wen i wen 2 c her. Her words to me still lingers within me. She'll say. "Mei mei nei you tok shi ma?, can lek tok she and you tang papa mama." Thou i noe little canto, is translated 2 tiz. "Mei mei you got study? must study hard and must listen to your parents." Will update her historical profile soon.. mayb bah.. Ah tai po po will always stay in my heart 4eva. Miss her dearly..** Yes.. i miss them all..(im crying now.. im in pain.. im very pain..I dont want to go.. i've not done all i need.. I will be a good girl..(about me thinking of death in the past, i wont do it, i'm afraid now..) I'm afraid of death, but im not afraid as i know where i'll be..i'll be with god..thats why i got batised..If i do go, i will be happy as i know im not alone.. im with god and jesus.. as he loves me..

{? } you're everything i know